Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Anniversary Reflection: 8 years and counting

8 years or 10 years depending on how you look at it.

Anniversary lattes. 

Many of you may know the story of how Mikey and I met. It was pretty much a whirlwind of excitement and childish joy. We both fell fast and hard. Both of us broke other hearts to be together. Seven months later we were engaged. It shocked me. He proposed on next to the cliffs on the beach on a rainy night. Unexpected. Perfect. Romantic. Very romantic by Mikey standards. He did good.

Fast forward and we have been married 8 years as of July 22nd. Dating 10 years. In that time, we have lived in three homes and made three amazing kids. We have also traveled the world, worked hard at the office and with friendships. We may not have it all just right, but we strive to. We strive to be people first. Spouses second. And parents third. I wrote more about this philosophy here. Many disagree with that philosophy but so far it still serves us.

We celebrated our wedding anniversary with a date night out in Tahoe. These date nights aren't rare, but still cherished. On an anniversary night there is this inherent pressure to make it special. I wish that weren't the case. Mike has always hated “dates.” So early in our relationship, I would just say “Let’s go out dinner” or “Wanna grab a bite to eat” or some other very relaxed way of lets go out just the two of us, for food and company aka a date. This small change in the way I requested a “date” made a big difference and the evening much more successful. I have always wondered why this was the case. In the end, it really doesn't matter why, it matters that I figured out a small piece to the puzzle for a good evening, a good life. Keep it relaxed.

By the way, I am the furthest thing from relaxed. I am high strung. I am realizing how high strung I am more and more every day. Apparently, my normal speed is a 12. I think the scale is supposed to be a 10. Ooops.

Back on track here. Mike has learned about me too.  I’m not sure what tricks he has come up with to help us make each and every day better, but I know he must have his too.

The secret to marriage is not so simple. Anyone you ask will give you different answers. It is fascinating to ask this question to all types of people. Divorced people seem to have the strongest opinions on the matter. People married over 50 years tend to answer in a silly joking manor, rarely offering an actual tip. People in between usually rattle off a list or say something contrived like “A happy wife is a happy home.” Well what exactly does that mean? How do you keep a wife happy? For all the women I know, we are all pretty complex creatures. I wish men luck with that one.

I don’t have any wise words on the secret to a successful marriage. My reflection on the topic is more about celebrating the milestones. Enjoying the day together. Having excitement for the future together.

This week, Mikey and I are going to Portland for a mini vacation, just us. Our plan isn’t much. Lots of walking around the city. Good food. Sleeping in. Maybe a bike ride to one of Mike's favorite brewery. Exploring together. The good life.

Further in the future, we are thinking about a trip to Paris. Maybe for our 10 year wedding anniversary. A romantic place to explore. Just us. That sounds pretty wonderful. Definitely a day I would look forward to. Mike seems to be on board… exciting! 

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