Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Missing Firsts

Yesterday I missed one of Hannah's firsts. She rolled over! I am so excited yet so sad. 

My mom was at the house with our nanny and all of the kids. They were all playing with Hannah and admiring her attempts to roll over. So everyone was focused on her. How wonderful is that? Her big sister, big brother, Grandma and her nanny all totally doting on her... and then she did it. She rolled! 

Apparently, Hadley was so excited she jumped up and yelled "She did it! She did it! She turned!" 

My mom said that was the best part; watching Hadley be so excited for her baby sister. I agree. My mom got to observe two firsts at once: Hannah rolling and Hadley's pure joy over Hannah's first. Observing a first, of any level, is so rewarding and so exciting. 

I recognize because I am a working mom, I will continue to miss many firsts. Logically, I understand this reality but emotionally it still stings. When I hear about a milestone being conquered without me my heart hurts. 

This morning when I was dropping Hadley and Harrison off at school and another mommy, Vanessa, asked me how Hannah was doing. I shared she was doing great and yesterday she had rolled over for the first time. I shared how sad I was to miss the first. In response, Vanessa said "Good thing she'll do it again" and smiled. She is so right. Hannah will do it again and I will get to experience it. Sometimes the emotion of a first is so big, but the reality is these firsts are just the beginning of many iterations of improvement. I may have missed the first roll, but I will get to see her get better and continue to grow. I can cherish each of those moments too. 

I can't be there for every first or every moment and may miss some really sweet ones, but I am forever her Mommy. 

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